Messy Baby 1.0

messy Kaitlin, originally uploaded by juliereynolds42.

I think she liked the pudding.

Imitation as Flattery

When I started blogging I told myself that I would not, could not become one of those mommy bloggers (or daddy bloggers for that matter) who only writes about the cute things her children are doing. But my twins are so cute and so funny that I have to indulge myself and post about the girls every once in a while, don’t I? So anyway, at almost 21 months, Ali and Kt have suddenly reached the stage where they want to do things just like Mommy and Daddy. Ali, for example, wants to wear my shoes (and my bra and panties – but that’s another story) and regularly clomps around the house in them. And yesterday morning both girls tried to leave the apartment with an old black diaper bag slung over one shoulder – probably because Daddy and Mommy both leave the house with black computer and book bags. But the time this new found desire to imitate us really rears its ugly head is when we sit down to eat. Last night when we were at the “Burrito-as-big-as-your-femur” joint, Kt insisted on wrapping her bits of quesadilla with foil so her food would be like ours (for the uninitiated, BABAYF wraps its burritos in foil so they don’t fall apart while you’re eating). And that’s not all. Both girls really want to eat sitting in the “big people” chairs at meal time. They cry and fuss and insist they are “ahh-done” eating and demand to get down. Not wanting to be a mother that traumatizes my children by forcing them to eat when they aren’t hungry, I typically let them down after a bit even after they haven’t eaten very much. And what do the do as soon as they get down (and my back is turned)? They climb up in my chair and proceed to eat whatever is in arms reach. Silly girls.

A Dual Life

The reason that my free-time is so limited is because I have two full time jobs. Yes, that’s right, I am simultaneously trying to finish a PhD in biology and raise 2 toddlers. Toddlers who (I hate to admit) are quickly growing to that stage known as the terrible-twos. Now these two jobs are seemingly (and perhaps actually) incompatible for a number of reasons that I won’t go into at this time. For now it is sufficient to say that both jobs require my full attention, and half my attention is not sufficient to do either job properly. But to simply pick one and discard the other is not even remotely a possibility. For obvious reasons I can’t pick the PhD over the twins. Well, I guess I could. There are people who pick careers over children. But A and K are so fun, and so amazing, and so loveable, that I can’t imagine my life with out them. They brighten my life every single day (yes even the days when they throw up all over me while I’m struggling to get out the door in the morning). Giving up the PhD is equally out of the question. For one thing, I am just too damn close (sorry girls) to finishing to just walk away. I’ve been at this for almost 7 years now (yes, I know I’m about to exceed the time limit) and it would just be too disheartening (to say the least) to quit now. Throwing in the towel would be to give up on me and everything I was before the girls was born. And that just wouldn’t be fair. To me or to the girls. Who would want a mother who resented your birth because she gave up too much of herself? So I will continue to struggle with this dual life to its only possible conclusion. That being said, I need to do some more work until it’s time to get the girls from daycare.

What spare time?

So I’ve decided to start blogging in my spare time. “What spare time?” you may ask. “The kitchen is a mess, there are mountains of laundry to be done, and the girls have scattered Cheerios everywhere (again). You also have lab work to finish and a PhD dissertation to write. How do you have time to blog?” Well, the truth is I probably don’t have much time for it – hence the oh-so-creative title of my collected ramblings. But all work and no play makes me grouchy. Besides I need to find an outlet for my random thoughts before my head explodes. So join me as I attempt to collect my thoughts in a semi-organized way, get into the writing grove (so I can finish the dissertation mentioned above), and chronicle my attempt to become both a mommy and a scientist. It should be a wild ride.