Pirates in the Closet

Our family has a secret. One of my daughters is a pirate. Well, not really. But she will be wearing a pirate eye patch for 2 hours every night for the next 3 months. The pirate patch is to treat her mild amblyopia, also called lazy eye. The muscles of one eye are not as strong as they need to be to hold the eye in the correct position. At this point it is very mild, but if left untreated it could lead to loss of sight in her bad eye. Fortunately, the treatment is fairly easy. We just have to put a patch over her strong eye so the weak eye has to work harder. Kind of like weight lifting for her eyeball.

At least I think the treatment is easy. BG is not so sure about the whole thing. She started complaining that she was having problems seeing at school. She was sort of mentally prepared to start wearing glasses. Our visit to a local pediatric ophthalmologist was a bit of a surprise. BG doesn't need glasses. In fact, her vision is almost perfect except for the amblyopia.

So what is the secret? BG is currently embarrassed by her patch. And she doesn't want anyone to know about it. She even told her friend "I can't tell you our family secret." So for now only the 4 of us know. And her teacher (I thought I had to let her in on it). And the school nurse (BG failed an eye test and the nurse gave us a sheet to have filled out and signed by her doctor). And, now 2 of her friends at school. She is slowly warming to the idea and getting used to wearing the patch. She has really been very cooperative and brave about the whole thing. I'm very proud of her.

But don't tell anyone. It's a family secret.

Resolutions for the new year.

Yes, I realized that this is actually the 4th day of the new year. Every year I try to embrace the idea that resolutions are for the whole year, not just January. Waiting until the 4th to make/post about my resolution is simply keeping that philosophy. So, without further ado, I give you my resolutions for 2012.

Take charge of my career: I've been kind of drifting the last several years, which is kind of bad for the particular field I am currently in. Partly this is because I'm not sure this career field is really for me. This year I am going to take some deliberate steps to figure this out and make adjustments where needed. Part of this goal is to try my hand at Science writing/journalism which includes science blogging. I hope to start a second blog in the near future for my sciency posts. I also want to do more public science education. Help with Science Day at my girls school. Do a few more insect shows.

Take care of my body: I already posted about my love/hate relationship with running. One goal is to get going with that again. I'm registered for the Cap City Quarter Marathon in May (note to self - you only have 121 days to train). This year I want to keep running past that. Do two or three 5k's. Maybe something more ambitious in the fall?

In addition to running I also need to do some basic things like replace my glasses, go to the dentist, and other things that I manage to schedule for my kids, but not for myself. Maybe try out a new hair style and otherwise improve the way I feel in my own body.

Spend my time more deliberately: I spend to much time monkey clicking on facebook and related sites. Spending time on these places is fine, but I want to do it with more purpose. Interact with more people. Stop monkey-clicking. Turn off the computer when I'm not actually doing something. Maybe multi-task a bit and fold laundry while I'm watching Glee. I want to spend my time better. I'm pretty sure I'll have more time to accomplish things if I just cut out the time sucks.


And there you have it. My resolutions for 2012. I'm planning to post specific goals, etc. as I go along, so stay tuned. I might just end up with a functioning blog.

I know these things are true...

1. I like running.

2. My body feels better when I run. My blood pressure is lower, I have fewer general aches, everything just works better.

3. Running is good for my cardiovascular system and reduces my risk of having a heart attack or stroke. This is important because my father had a fatal heart attack at 65. My mom and brother have cholesterol problems and my maternal grandfather died from heart problems. My own history of preeclampsia doubles my risk of heart attack and stroke by itself. The odds against having a heart attack are not great unless I do as much as I can to keep my heart healthy.

4. I feel great after I run.

5. I am happier in general when I run regularly.

6. Races are fun.

Clearly, running is a good thing for me. So, why is it so hard to get my tush out of the chair and out the door?

Why are you telling us this now?

So, this morning, from out of no where, the lead teacher in my daughter's summer childcare program, who was also her kindergarten teacher told me "I'm just not sure that K is ready for first grade." Now this comes a week before K starts school in a 1st grade class at a local magnet school. So, WTF, Teacher? Really? You tell me now? Why not back in May? I knew Teacher had some concerns about K back in January. But K worked really hard and made a lot of progress. And the end of year progress report said "K will need some extra help, but she is ready for 1st grade." So what happened to change Teacher's mind? Was she lying to us back in May? Just telling us what we wanted to hear? And, now, exactly what am I supposed to do with this information?

What we are going to do with this information is to take it with a grain of salt and proceed as planned, albeit, with more trepidation than we had a few days ago. We selected the magnet program because is it smaller than our "home" school. The curriculum is the standard 1st grade curriculum, but the whole school is "arts" based which means creativity is valued. Creativity is something that K has more than enough of. Plus she is smart, has an excellent memory and a huge vocabulary. She is smart and she works hard when she wants too. And we are in an excellent school district. I know they have a "reading help" program in place for kids who struggle in that area (for some reason K is a reluctant reader). And, frankly, I suspect that K will do better in a more structured setting than the one provided by her current program. I know their current teachers let them get away with some types of behavior that we would never let them get away with at home. A responds to disappointments with way more emotion than is appropriate and throws a temper tantrum whenever she is unhappy. She had to learn that was an ok way to deal with disappointment somewhere. K often she decides she is “too tired” when she is asked to do something she doesn’t want to do (e.g. clean up her toys). Where did that coping mechanism come from? Some kids do well in a more relaxed "child-led" environment, but I think my girls need a teacher who is more on the strict side. Someone who will not let them get away with things. Someone who won’t allow them to move away from the group because they don’t want to do something. I was that way, so I wouldn't be surprised if my girls are too.

So anyway. With some reservation, we will jump into the volcano and hope that it spits us back out. If it doesn't, I guess we can have her repeat 1st grade next year, right?

In case you were wondering....

If your child comes to you in a panic because she has her hand stuck in the chimney of her Playmobil™ Take Along Dollhouse…....

1. Don’t panic.
2. Don’t laugh (you can do that later behind her back).
3. Don’t launch into a speech about how this is a lesson about sticking her hand in things (at least not yet. You can do that later once her hand is free).
4. Quietly tell your child to stop trying to pull her hand out. You don’t want to damage her hand.
5. Don’t panic.
6. Tell your child not to panic.
7. Take all the dollhouse furniture and put it in a safe place. Make sure all the microscopic plates, bowls, and mugs are someplace where they can’t get lost or accidently thrown away.
8. Separate two halves of the dollhouse. The hinge comes undone fairly easily. Better yet, it is easy to snap it back together once her hand is free.
9. Disconnect the fireplace from the bottom floor and wall.
10. Remove the top floor on the side with the chimney. Lift it up (toward the roof) until it snaps apart. Gently slide the floor piece down around the fireplace being careful not to twist your child’s arm.
11. Now take a bowl of cold, soapy water and poor some of it into the fireplace. You want to:
a. Reduce the swelling in her hand that is caused by repeated attempts to pull the hand out and from the hand being compressed inside the chimney.
b. Make her hand slippery so she can successfully pull it out.
12. Cheer and give her a hug.
13. Thoroughly dry the dollhouse out with paper towels.
14. Reassemble the fireplace, second story floor, and two halves of the dollhouse.
15. Give object lesson about putting her hand (or other body parts) in tight/small places.
16. While you're at it, remind her not to put beads or other small items in her nose.
17. Finish cooking dinner.

If I seem a little sad...

If I seem a little sad today, it’s because I am. My brother called me this morning bright and early to tell me that my dad died. He collapsed because of a heart attack and never got up again. So I am sad because I don’t have a dad any more.

I’m also sad because I actually haven’t had a dad for quite a long time. When I was 14 he moved away to take a job. My mom and brother and I joined him in Alabama once our school year was over, but I never really got my dad back. I lived with him, but he wasn’t around very much because he was busy working and going to school and other stuff. The I finished high school and went away to college. I was mostly home on the weekends, but….

Then I got married. My parents moved away again. I saw him on Christmas, but…. Then my mom called me several years ago to tell me that Dad was having an affair and their marriage was over. He moved even farther away. I talked to him on the phone every once and a while. But he was busy with his new wife and her kids and I was busy with my life. We just didn’t have much in common. Plus, I was very angry with him for leaving and breaking up my family.

The last time I saw him, was right after my daughters were born. I was recovering from major surgery and major, life threatening, pregnancy complications and my girls were in the NICU. He came to visit. Things were ok. Then just before he left, he decided to have a “talk” with me about the way I treated his wife. Apparently, I wasn’t making enough effort and I wasn’t friendly enough. I think I promised to make more effort. But then Hurricane Katrina hit and we had one preemie in the hospital, one preemie at home, and no electricity. Then preemie #2 came home on oxygen, and we were trying to deal with all of her medical issues. And Hurricane Rita hit. Then he wanted to come and visit again, this time with the wife that I wasn’t making enough effort to get along with. And I said no. And he was mad at me and I was still mad at him. We talked on the phone a few times after that. But then the phone call stopped. There were a few cards exchanged. And he forwarded my a few of those emails that always get forwarded, but I never replied and we never talked again. And now he is gone. And I don’t have a dad any more. And that is why I seem a bit sad today.

How to Write a Lot

Ok, it comes down to this. To be anything like successful with my career. I need to get papers out. And in order to get papers out, I need to write them. I need to put words on the page that people can read. Ok, that seems easy enough. Except that it isn’t. Getting words down has been a real struggle lately. Heck, just communicating has been a struggle lately. I haven’t been talking to people or witting to people, or blogging, or commenting on facebook or on other’s blogs. I start too. But mostly I don’t think what I have to offer is good enough. I hit delete more often than I hit “post” or “send.” I’m not sure what the deal is.

Ok, maybe I do. Part of it is that I am really out of practice when it comes to writing and communicating in general. I’m pretty isolated at work. My office mate is very quiet and I don’t have much in common with him. The lab is often empty, so unless I start talking to my flies (and sometimes I do), there isn’t much opportunity for conversation there either. Most of my conversation at home is with 5 year olds who are articulate for their age, but….

The other problem is low self esteem and a lot of doubt that what I have to offer is valuable. Recent experiences with collaborators, who ignore my suggestions, and journal editors, who ask me to peer-review articles and then ignore my comments, haven’t really helped the situation. I know intellectually that I shouldn’t take it personally, but….

So how do I get past all this a churn out a paper, or five, so that I continue to be employed. Unfortunately, all I really can do is just sit down and write. In fact that’s what the experts suggest. Paul J Silvia, in his book, How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing, says THE KEY to, writing a lot is to write a lot. Just do it. Schedule time to write every day. And don’t let yourself out of it. You wouldn’t skip a meeting with a co-worker, so don’t skip a meeting with your computer. His advice makes a lot of sense. The more I write, the better I will be at it (practice makes perfect and all that. Plus the more writing I produce the odds that I will like what I write will increase. So that is what I am going to do. Write every day. For 30 minutes every day (or more if the muse is with me). Writing may take the form of blog posts, research manuscripts, grant proposals, or random blathering written for my own benefit.