In my (not so) abundant spare time....

Pirates in the Closet

2012-01-26T23:11:00.001-05:00

Our family has a secret. One of my daughters is a pirate. Well, not really. But she will be wearing a pirate eye patch for 2 hours every night for the next 3 months. The pirate patch is to treat her mild amblyopia, also called lazy eye. The muscles of one eye are not as strong as they need to be to hold the eye in the correct position. At this point it is very mild, but if left untreated it could lead to loss of sight in her bad eye. Fortunately, the treatment is fairly easy. We just have to put a patch over her strong eye so the weak eye has to work harder. Kind of like weight lifting for her eyeball.

At least I think the treatment is easy. BG is not so sure about the whole thing. She started complaining that she was having problems seeing at school. She was sort of mentally prepared to start wearing glasses. Our visit to a local pediatric ophthalmologist was a bit of a surprise. BG doesn't need glasses. In fact, her vision is almost perfect except for the amblyopia.

So what is the secret? BG is currently embarrassed by her patch. And she doesn't want anyone to know about it. She even told her friend "I can't tell you our family secret." So for now only the 4 of us know. And her teacher (I thought I had to let her in on it). And the school nurse (BG failed an eye test and the nurse gave us a sheet to have filled out and signed by her doctor). And, now 2 of her friends at school. She is slowly warming to the idea and getting used to wearing the patch. She has really been very cooperative and brave about the whole thing. I'm very proud of her.

But don't tell anyone. It's a family secret.

Resolutions for the new year.

2012-01-04T21:50:00.001-05:00

Yes, I realized that this is actually the 4th day of the new year. Every year I try to embrace the idea that resolutions are for the whole year, not just January. Waiting until the 4th to make/post about my resolution is simply keeping that philosophy. So, without further ado, I give you my resolutions for 2012.

Take charge of my career: I've been kind of drifting the last several years, which is kind of bad for the particular field I am currently in. Partly this is because I'm not sure this career field is really for me. This year I am going to take some deliberate steps to figure this out and make adjustments where needed. Part of this goal is to try my hand at Science writing/journalism which includes science blogging. I hope to start a second blog in the near future for my sciency posts. I also want to do more public science education. Help with Science Day at my girls school. Do a few more insect shows.

Take care of my body: I already posted about my love/hate relationship with running. One goal is to get going with that again. I'm registered for the Cap City Quarter Marathon in May (note to self - you only have 121 days to train). This year I want to keep running past that. Do two or three 5k's. Maybe something more ambitious in the fall?

In addition to running I also need to do some basic things like replace my glasses, go to the dentist, and other things that I manage to schedule for my kids, but not for myself. Maybe try out a new hair style and otherwise improve the way I feel in my own body.

Spend my time more deliberately: I spend to much time monkey clicking on facebook and related sites. Spending time on these places is fine, but I want to do it with more purpose. Interact with more people. Stop monkey-clicking. Turn off the computer when I'm not actually doing something. Maybe multi-task a bit and fold laundry while I'm watching Glee. I want to spend my time better. I'm pretty sure I'll have more time to accomplish things if I just cut out the time sucks.

And there you have it. My resolutions for 2012. I'm planning to post specific goals, etc. as I go along, so stay tuned. I might just end up with a functioning blog.

I know these things are true...

2012-01-03T21:44:00.000-05:00

1. I like running.

2. My body feels better when I run. My blood pressure is lower, I have fewer general aches, everything just works better.

3. Running is good for my cardiovascular system and reduces my risk of having a heart attack or stroke. This is important because my father had a fatal heart attack at 65. My mom and brother have cholesterol problems and my maternal grandfather died from heart problems. My own history of preeclampsia doubles my risk of heart attack and stroke by itself. The odds against having a heart attack are not great unless I do as much as I can to keep my heart healthy.

4. I feel great after I run.

5. I am happier in general when I run regularly.

6. Races are fun.

Clearly, running is a good thing for me. So, why is it so hard to get my tush out of the chair and out the door?

Why are you telling us this now?

2011-08-11T12:31:00.000-04:00

So, this morning, from out of no where, the lead teacher in my daughter's summer childcare program, who was also her kindergarten teacher told me "I'm just not sure that K is ready for first grade." Now this comes a week before K starts school in a 1st grade class at a local magnet school. So, WTF, Teacher? Really? You tell me now? Why not back in May? I knew Teacher had some concerns about K back in January. But K worked really hard and made a lot of progress. And the end of year progress report said "K will need some extra help, but she is ready for 1st grade." So what happened to change Teacher's mind? Was she lying to us back in May? Just telling us what we wanted to hear? And, now, exactly what am I supposed to do with this information?

What we are going to do with this information is to take it with a grain of salt and proceed as planned, albeit, with more trepidation than we had a few days ago. We selected the magnet program because is it smaller than our "home" school. The curriculum is the standard 1st grade curriculum, but the whole school is "arts" based which means creativity is valued. Creativity is something that K has more than enough of. Plus she is smart, has an excellent memory and a huge vocabulary. She is smart and she works hard when she wants too. And we are in an excellent school district. I know they have a "reading help" program in place for kids who struggle in that area (for some reason K is a reluctant reader). And, frankly, I suspect that K will do better in a more structured setting than the one provided by her current program. I know their current teachers let them get away with some types of behavior that we would never let them get away with at home. A responds to disappointments with way more emotion than is appropriate and throws a temper tantrum whenever she is unhappy. She had to learn that was an ok way to deal with disappointment somewhere. K often she decides she is “too tired” when she is asked to do something she doesn’t want to do (e.g. clean up her toys). Where did that coping mechanism come from? Some kids do well in a more relaxed "child-led" environment, but I think my girls need a teacher who is more on the strict side. Someone who will not let them get away with things. Someone who won’t allow them to move away from the group because they don’t want to do something. I was that way, so I wouldn't be surprised if my girls are too.

So anyway. With some reservation, we will jump into the volcano and hope that it spits us back out. If it doesn't, I guess we can have her repeat 1st grade next year, right?

In case you were wondering....

2011-01-20T12:32:00.003-05:00

If your child comes to you in a panic because she has her hand stuck in the chimney of her Playmobil™ Take Along Dollhouse…....

1. Don’t panic.
2. Don’t laugh (you can do that later behind her back).
3. Don’t launch into a speech about how this is a lesson about sticking her hand in things (at least not yet. You can do that later once her hand is free).
4. Quietly tell your child to stop trying to pull her hand out. You don’t want to damage her hand.
5. Don’t panic.
6. Tell your child not to panic.
7. Take all the dollhouse furniture and put it in a safe place. Make sure all the microscopic plates, bowls, and mugs are someplace where they can’t get lost or accidently thrown away.
8. Separate two halves of the dollhouse. The hinge comes undone fairly easily. Better yet, it is easy to snap it back together once her hand is free.
9. Disconnect the fireplace from the bottom floor and wall.
10. Remove the top floor on the side with the chimney. Lift it up (toward the roof) until it snaps apart. Gently slide the floor piece down around the fireplace being careful not to twist your child’s arm.
11. Now take a bowl of cold, soapy water and poor some of it into the fireplace. You want to:
a. Reduce the swelling in her hand that is caused by repeated attempts to pull the hand out and from the hand being compressed inside the chimney.
b. Make her hand slippery so she can successfully pull it out.
12. Cheer and give her a hug.
13. Thoroughly dry the dollhouse out with paper towels.
14. Reassemble the fireplace, second story floor, and two halves of the dollhouse.
15. Give object lesson about putting her hand (or other body parts) in tight/small places.
16. While you're at it, remind her not to put beads or other small items in her nose.
17. Finish cooking dinner.

If I seem a little sad...

2011-01-11T18:40:00.002-05:00

If I seem a little sad today, it’s because I am. My brother called me this morning bright and early to tell me that my dad died. He collapsed because of a heart attack and never got up again. So I am sad because I don’t have a dad any more.

I’m also sad because I actually haven’t had a dad for quite a long time. When I was 14 he moved away to take a job. My mom and brother and I joined him in Alabama once our school year was over, but I never really got my dad back. I lived with him, but he wasn’t around very much because he was busy working and going to school and other stuff. The I finished high school and went away to college. I was mostly home on the weekends, but….

Then I got married. My parents moved away again. I saw him on Christmas, but…. Then my mom called me several years ago to tell me that Dad was having an affair and their marriage was over. He moved even farther away. I talked to him on the phone every once and a while. But he was busy with his new wife and her kids and I was busy with my life. We just didn’t have much in common. Plus, I was very angry with him for leaving and breaking up my family.

The last time I saw him, was right after my daughters were born. I was recovering from major surgery and major, life threatening, pregnancy complications and my girls were in the NICU. He came to visit. Things were ok. Then just before he left, he decided to have a “talk” with me about the way I treated his wife. Apparently, I wasn’t making enough effort and I wasn’t friendly enough. I think I promised to make more effort. But then Hurricane Katrina hit and we had one preemie in the hospital, one preemie at home, and no electricity. Then preemie #2 came home on oxygen, and we were trying to deal with all of her medical issues. And Hurricane Rita hit. Then he wanted to come and visit again, this time with the wife that I wasn’t making enough effort to get along with. And I said no. And he was mad at me and I was still mad at him. We talked on the phone a few times after that. But then the phone call stopped. There were a few cards exchanged. And he forwarded my a few of those emails that always get forwarded, but I never replied and we never talked again. And now he is gone. And I don’t have a dad any more. And that is why I seem a bit sad today.

How to Write a Lot

2011-01-03T14:29:00.001-05:00

Ok, it comes down to this. To be anything like successful with my career. I need to get papers out. And in order to get papers out, I need to write them. I need to put words on the page that people can read. Ok, that seems easy enough. Except that it isn’t. Getting words down has been a real struggle lately. Heck, just communicating has been a struggle lately. I haven’t been talking to people or witting to people, or blogging, or commenting on facebook or on other’s blogs. I start too. But mostly I don’t think what I have to offer is good enough. I hit delete more often than I hit “post” or “send.” I’m not sure what the deal is.

Ok, maybe I do. Part of it is that I am really out of practice when it comes to writing and communicating in general. I’m pretty isolated at work. My office mate is very quiet and I don’t have much in common with him. The lab is often empty, so unless I start talking to my flies (and sometimes I do), there isn’t much opportunity for conversation there either. Most of my conversation at home is with 5 year olds who are articulate for their age, but….

The other problem is low self esteem and a lot of doubt that what I have to offer is valuable. Recent experiences with collaborators, who ignore my suggestions, and journal editors, who ask me to peer-review articles and then ignore my comments, haven’t really helped the situation. I know intellectually that I shouldn’t take it personally, but….

So how do I get past all this a churn out a paper, or five, so that I continue to be employed. Unfortunately, all I really can do is just sit down and write. In fact that’s what the experts suggest. Paul J Silvia, in his book, How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing, says THE KEY to, writing a lot is to write a lot. Just do it. Schedule time to write every day. And don’t let yourself out of it. You wouldn’t skip a meeting with a co-worker, so don’t skip a meeting with your computer. His advice makes a lot of sense. The more I write, the better I will be at it (practice makes perfect and all that. Plus the more writing I produce the odds that I will like what I write will increase. So that is what I am going to do. Write every day. For 30 minutes every day (or more if the muse is with me). Writing may take the form of blog posts, research manuscripts, grant proposals, or random blathering written for my own benefit.

There and Back Again

2010-12-15T10:16:00.006-05:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a blog. It was a happy little blog that was updated periodically – not too often, because the girl was a busy girl with “lots of stuff on her plate”, but often enough. But then one day, the girl stopped updating her blog. Not for any real reason but because, well, because. This made the girl and her adoring fans (well, a bunch of anonymous commenters) a bit sad. So the girl decided she should start updating her blog again. She had the best of intentions. She even wrote a bunch of posts and stuck them in the “blog post” file on her computer. But, still, for a long time not a single post was actually posted. She even signed up to participate in Holidailies – a thing where people commit to updating their blogs every day for the month of December - hoping to jump start her dying blog. However, while the desire to write witty blog posts was strong, the desire to procrastinate was even stronger. So, no blog post was written on the first day of Holidailies. Or the second. Or the third. A whole week passed. The girl almost gave up the idea of starting up her blog again. But then Stubbornness hit. It beat back Procrastination and allowed the desire to write a blog post win the day. So what if today is the 7th day of Holidailies,” said Stubbornness. “It is not too late to start! Go ahead a write a blog post!” Share it with the world. What’s the worst that can happen?” So the girl wrote something. And posted it.

The End.

And there you have it friends, loyal followers, and people who comment anonymously in Chinese. My first blog post in over a year. I plan to continue every day for the rest of December at least. Stay tuned to find out if Stubbornness can continue to win against Procrastination. It should prove to be an interesting fight.

Rite of passage

2009-07-13T09:57:00.003-04:00

This morning I got an email that reads,

Dear Dr. Reynolds,

Given your expertise in this area, I would appreciate your comments on the above paper....

This is the first time someone I've never met has asked me to review a paper, and I have to say it feels pretty good to think that someone wants my opinion. It's like a rite of passagage almost. Look out world, here I come.

Corrupting the next generation

2009-06-30T14:30:00.004-04:00

On the drive in this morning my almost 4 year old daughters and I were talking a bit about a movie we watched last night when the discussion turned to movies in general, and I asked them, "so what movie would you like to watch next?" Without even pausing a minute to think about it, A answered "Star Wars!" And K added, "yeah, Star Wars!" I'm afraid they already show an unhealthy appreciation for these films."

To do:

2009-06-18T09:36:00.003-04:00

Isolate RNA from exposed flies
Finish reading paper about heat shock proteins
Finish writing methods for upcoming paper
Go to the RPAC - do day 2 of couch to 5K
Take daughters to the library
Stop and smell the roses

When Science and "Art" Collide

2009-04-14T22:25:00.003-04:00

Anyone who is a child of the '80s has to watch this video. Yes I know its an advertisment for cell culture products, but trust me.

All grown up?

2009-03-31T15:58:00.004-04:00

I'm 3X years old and married with two kids and a real job. I'm grown up and I should dress like it, right? Shouldn't I give up the torn blue jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes of my graduate student days? Or can I still wear these?

Craft-it Forward

2009-03-25T20:08:00.003-04:00

In a moment of insanity, I jumped on the craft meme bandwagon. ScienceWoman is going to send me a crafty surprise in a couple of months, and all I have to do is craft-it forward. If you'd like to receive mystery hand craft, be one of the first five to leave a comment on this post.

Here are the complete rules:

The first 5 people to respond to this post will get something made by me! This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:
* I make no guarantees that you will like what I make but I will do my best. * It will be done in the next few months. * Exactly what I make and send will be a surprise.

In return, all you need to do is post this text to your own blog and make 5 things for 5 others. Remember, this is a "craft it forward" so action is required.

And if you're reading this on Facebook, I'm still on a FB "fast" for Lent and you'll have to visit my blog if you want to play along.

Counting Blessings

2009-03-17T16:10:00.002-04:00

So the Master of the Universe heard my cry, and things are looking up for the R household. M is going to start a new job on Monday, K has recovered from her illness, and we even found the car keys. Even better, the rash on my arms and legs turned out to be stress induced hives rather than some awful contagious something or other. And the weather was actually fairly warm the weekend that our furnace went out. Isn't God good?

Sacrifice for Lent

2009-03-06T14:39:00.004-05:00

So I decided to give up Facebook for Lent. This is kind of a first for me because I've never really given up anything for Lent before. I like the general idea of making a sacrifice for Lent, but I could never think of a a suitable sacrifice. For me, the purpose of the sacrifice is to free up part of myself in order to have more to spend on Things that Matter. Sacrificing Facebook for Lent seemed like a really good idea back in mid-February. After all, I spend way too much time sending virtual flowers and chocolates to people when I should be writing/revising manuscripts or spending time with my husband and children. For the most part, I've really enjoyed having the extra time to read, think, and play. But not spending time on Facebook is proving to have its downside too. In the last few months I've reconnected with a lot of people who I had lost contact with. Sadly, when I chose to give up FB, I also gave up communicating with a lot of people. In short, I am glad that I have recovered some time for more important things, but I will be glad when I can get back on and see what everyone is up to. If you are reading this on Facebook (I have it set up to pick up my blog posts) please visit my real, actual blog to leave comments. Otherwise I won't see them until mid-April.

An Open Letter

2009-02-17T10:11:00.005-05:00

Dear Master of the Universe, I'd like a "do-over" please. So far 2009 has been very stressful and, in many ways, just bad. It is only the second (or third? I've lost track) week of February and already:

I've lost the only electronic key to or primary vehicle. After searching for it for a week I finally broke down and had the stupid car towed to the dealership so I could have the car reprogrammed and new keys made. It was not fun.
The heating coil in our oven melted - again. A white hot fire in the oven while trying to bake muffins - definitely not fun.
M has been laid off. We sort of new it was coming, but still it was still kind of all of a sudden. It is not fun.
K came down with the flu and had to spend 2 days at Children's Hospital with pneumonia. That was most definitely not fun.

In short, You promised you would not give me more to deal with than I can handle, so what gives? Can you please rewind the year so I can start it over. Alternatively, could you fast forward through the rest of the bad stuff that is going to happen this year to something slightly more fun? Thank you in advance, julie

To do:

2009-01-07T15:19:00.003-05:00

Walk to libray in the snow (barefoot, uphill both ways) to copy 70 page review article from "reference" book.
Figure out why qPCR results are wonky.
Revise and resubmit albatross paper.
Conquer HPLC.
Nurture flies.
Clean the house.
Spend quanlity time with kids.
Invite potential new friends over for game night to ease feelings of isolation in Postdoc Town.

Who knew?

2008-12-18T14:28:00.002-05:00

Did you know that if you cut a banana in half, you get a Mommy banana and a Baby banana? Yeah, I didn't either, but that is the way it is according to the 3 year olds who live with me. The Mommy banana is the end with the stem and while the Baby banana is the stemless end. The Mommy banana is the superior end because the girls often fight over it. I'm not sure why the Mommy end is better than the Baby end. Maybe that's the lesson for tomorrow.

Borrowing a meme

2008-11-19T13:33:00.012-05:00

In spite of my best intentions, the number of posts I've actually written and, well, posted, has fallen precipitously, even for me. It's not that I haven't wanted to post. Its just that I've been a little short on spare time. That and the inability to think of a worthy topic to blog about. Well I finally have a bit of extra time. At least I'm going to take a bit of extra time. I just submitted not one, but two manuscripts so I think I deserve a bit of down time. That just leaves the challenge of deciding what to blog about, and I've solved that problem by borrowing a meme that is going around the Science blogosphere. So with out further ado, I give you "The 5 Things Meme." 5 Things I was Doing 10 years Ago:

Observing the feeding behavior of European corn borers.
Trying to decide where I wanted to do a PhD.
Playing lots of board games with fellow grad students.
Cooking fabulous food with veggies from our garden
Reading as many Sci-fi books as I could manage (for a while there I was reading 1 per day)

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

Write at least 1 blog post
Plan/design experiments for tomorrow.
Read about/plan experiments for new study
Request and examinaton copy of a new science book I've been coveting.
Go the the public library with the family to check out new books for my little monkeys.

5 Snacks I Love:

Chocolate
Cookies
Doughnuts
Roasted pumpkin seeds
Crisp apples

5 Things I Would Do If I Were A Millionaire:

Buy a house with large tracks of land.
Take an extended to Australia and New Zealand
Set up college funds for my 2 girls.
Make huge donations to Woman's Hospital NICU and the March of Dimes
Buy some John Fluevog shoes.

5 Places I've Lived:

4th floor dorm room with the roommate from Hell.
Middle class neighborhood in Colorado Springs
Little town in north Alabama
Barely big enough for 2 people apartment in Rocket City, Alabama
Southern Louisiana

5 Jobs I've Had:

Pizza artist
Bookseller
Coffee barista
Student
Student (I spent enough time as a student that I feel it deserves at least 2 places on my list.)

Question of the day

2008-11-18T10:27:00.002-05:00

I covet an expensive new science book that is not really affordable with my current postdoc salary. Publisher is offering free copies to people interested in teaching a class based on this book. Would it be wrong for me to request a free copy even though I have no plans to teach any classes anytime within the next, oh, 2-5 years?

What kind of girl are you?

2008-10-17T15:10:00.007-04:00

With special thanks to Mommyprof who helped me to get nothing done this afternoon.

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Silly Kaitlin

2008-10-02T12:56:00.004-04:00

I try not to laugh at my children, at least not where they can hear me. But sometimes I just can't help it. Take today for example. When I left the girls at preschool this morning, K was on her butt, scooting her way across the floor to where some of the other kids were reading a story. "Why was she scooting?" you ask. She was scooting because she fell on the play ground and hurt herself. No, no she didn't break her leg or sprain her ankle or sustain any other injury that would prevent her from putting weight on her legs and feet. She scrapped her knees. Ok, the scrapes were pretty bad. Bad enough that we had to put band-aids on the scrapes. For some reason she is mortally afraid of band-aids. So much so that she screams like a tortured prisoner when ever we have to put them on. So much so that when she has band-aids on her knees she can't walk or even stand up. I hope she heals fast (or forgets about her wounds) because I don't know how many days I can patiently deal with her phobia. Silly kid.

Just do it

2008-09-25T13:26:00.004-04:00

I have been inspired by ScienceMama, Dr. Isis, and some other really cool ladies who I have been cyber stalking. These ladies are all runners and running is something I want to do lots more of. I have always been out of shape, and having preeclamsia while being pregnant with twins only has only made the problem worse. I desperately need more exercise and running seems like a good way to go. I don't need any special equipment except for a good pair of running shoes, and a recent post by the above mentioned Dr. Isis give some great tips for finding the right pair. I already have a plan for getting started. And a shiny new mp3 player just waiting to be filled with motivational songs. So now I guess I need to just do it. And that, my friends, is the hard part for a chronic procrastinator like me. So tell me, where can I find the motivation I need to get off my every widening buttocks and start running?

Hurricane Gustav

2008-09-02T13:09:00.009-04:00

I have been wanting to write a post about Hurricane Gustav, but I don't quite know what to say about it. Considering that this:

Baton Rouge neighborhood is behind the apartment complex I lived in during my graduate school days, I think I'm glad I don't live there any more. But my heart still aches for my city, and part of me wants to be there with them. You can't live in a place for seven years without developing a bond with the people who live there.

The city suffered a lot of damage in this storm. Downed trees have left many, many people (1.4 million the last I heard) without electricity. It is estimated that it will take 2 weeks to restore power to all the people in the region. Please keep the people of south-central Louisiana in your thoughts and prayers.

And if you're willing and able, please consider making a donation to the Woman's Hospital Hurricane Relief Fund to help families impacted by the storm. It is difficult enough to deal with a hurricane and its aftermath, but these families are also dealing with the trials of having a baby in the NICU. Having to deal with these two challenges at the same time is difficult at best. I know. My daughter was in the NICU at this hospital during Hurricane Katrina.

I've been wondering....

2008-08-13T16:36:00.003-04:00

When the king in Sleeping Beauty has all of the spinning wheels in the country destroyed to keep his daughter from pricking her finger on a spindle, what happens to the country's economy? Where do they get their textiles for the next 16 years?
When Curious George swallows the puzzle piece, why does the Man in the Yellow Hat (MITYH) take George to a children's hospital instead of a veterinarian?
Why does the MITYH feel he can leave his monkey unattended at the zoo, candy story, ice cream shop, toy store, or any of the other locations where George gets him self in trouble? It that was a child....
How is it that George ends up working so many food service jobs? Would you want an ape making your pancakes or serving your ice cream?
Have I been reading too many children's book?

The Walrus Part 2

2008-07-28T15:44:00.005-04:00

So my plan worked - sort of. After 2 weeks and some change, I managed to send a draft to my PhD advisor. In the end I earned about 15 downloads. There were days I worked on it with a will and other days where 30 min of each hour were spent reading blogs and other bits and pieces online. In the end, I was able to get it done. Bribing myself certainly helped me get the ball rolling, but the dangling carrot method is not what helped me to finish the albatross paper. In the end I think there were two things that helped more.

1)Deciding to do it. Sounds simple, but until I really decided to go for it, there were always other activities getting in the way. After a week of earning exactly one song, I finally just decided to do it. I cleared everything off my to do list except for this paper. No lab work. No blogging. Just writing. And now it's finished - go figure.

2)Getting an email from my PhD advisory that said, "ok where is it? We need to get it out." For me, one of the hardest thing about this whole science career is motivation. I love science, but some days it is really hard to be my own source of motivation. I've somehow managed to have fairly "hands off" advisors. And there are few deadlines. Many days it is really hard to get the ball rolling. A simple email really helped to keep up the momentum I'd managed to build up earlier in the week - go figure.

The time has come the walrus said....

2008-07-12T12:36:00.004-04:00

to pull out the big guns. And by big guns I mean hard core bribes. I finished my PhD almost a year ago, and I still have 2 chapters that need to be turned into manuscripts and published. I'm having a really tough time getting this little job done what with a birthday party to plan and laundry to do and postdoc research to get done. I've tried gentle encouragements and I've tried threats (I may get scooped if I don't get my ass in gear), but neither of these seem to be providing the motivation I need. Therefore, I've decided to try a new approach. Bribery. For every hour I put in on said manuscripts I'm goi to give myself a credit for one music download. And for finishing the manuscripts I'm going to buy an mp3 player of some form (exact type to be determined)to play earned downloads. Think it will work?

I'm glad it's not the 1930s

2008-06-17T16:01:00.005-04:00

As a 1930s wife, I am
Poor

Take the test!

I wonder if I got this score because I wear pajamas to cook breakfast or because I eat garlic before bed.

I have no response to that

2008-06-13T15:42:00.002-04:00

My daughter, A, loves to draw and color. She recently learned to draw circles and has been using her new skill to draw balloons (she is terrified of balloons, but she loves to draw them for some reason). A few days ago I was walking up the stairs and noticed one of her characteristic balloons drawn ON THE WALL. WITH TURQUOISE CRAYON!!! "A," I yelled, "Did you draw this balloon on the wall?" To which she replied in her sweetest voice, "Yes Mommy, I drew it for you." Now tell me, how am I supposed to respond to that?

Gaining Weight

2008-06-03T12:31:00.005-04:00

Now that my daughters are almost 3 years old, and I can fit back into most of my pre-baby clothes, its time for me to gain back some of my baby weight. Not weight as we usually think of it measured in pounds and ounces. I’m talking about mass in a more abstract sense. I used to be a bigger person, metaphorically speaking. I used to spend my free time sewing, making quilts, doing cross-stitch projects, reading novels (sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, you name it), gardening, making jam, baking bread, cooking complicated foods, canoeing, hiking, camping, going to the beach, building houses with Habitat for Humanity, hanging out with friends, going to see movies. You get the picture. And when combined with 40-80 hours of course/lab work per week (depending on the time of the semester and/or looming deadlines), I had a big, full life. Today I feel like my life is a lot smaller than it used to be. I’ve lost a lot of “weight” and I’m not as big a person as I used to be. And I miss being a larger person.

I started loosing weight when I found out I was pregnant (well actually, I gained about 20 lbs during the first month of pregnancy, but again we aren’t talking about actual real pounds here). I was less than a year away from completing my PhD, so I dropped all extra activities (except sitting on a Federal Grand Jury, which was not my decision and which is another post for another day) in order to complete my research before Baby was born. I dropped some more weight when I was put on bed rest about half way through my pregnancy. My doctor told me I need to lie around like a lazy dog, so no more research for me. And no more writing or even reading research related material for that matter. Baby B was so high up against my lungs that I could barely breathe. And sitting up for more than abut 10 minutes at a time – even in a recliner – was really uncomfortable. Plus, the preeclampsia made me very tired and foggy headed so I couldn’t concentrate on significant (i.e. science) reading long enough for it to make sense. The general discomfort also meant I couldn’t/didn’t want to spend any time cooking, quilting or sewing for my babies either. Hanging out with friends wasn’t really in the cards either. Everyone I had previously spent time with had just moved out of our hot, swampy city. I was reduced to reading mindless books, watching endless hours of bad TV (thank goodness for netflix), and going to see my OB twice a week. I felt really small, empty, and alone. I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who is put on bed rest during pregnancy (but that’s a post for another day, so back to the topic).

I started gaining some “weight” when the twins were finally born. I had two new beautiful precious people in my life who added to it in ways I’d never imagined. But two newborns are demanding (to say the least) There were days when I didn’t have time to take a shower or brush my teeth, let alone pursue any type of hobbies or get any work done. When the girls were ~ 6 months old, I started to get back part of my pre-baby life. I started teaching an introductory biology class for non-majors, and I was able to get a little research done. A year and some change later, I finished my degree and started a postdoc. And now I feel like I can really start putting some effort into combining my old life with my new life. The girls are big enough to take on picnics and short hikes. We plan to take them on their first canoe trip soon and camping will probably start in the fall. Some day I might even get back to the quilt I was making. My life is gaining weight. Now I just have to figure out how to balance it.

scientiae-carnival

Note to self

2008-05-22T11:10:00.004-04:00

Find/develop a model insect species that does not require raw liver for any stage of its life cycle.

Bring a salad or other vegetarian meal on any day where "larvae collection" is a scheduled activity.

Random thoughts

2008-05-21T15:22:00.004-04:00

If people are actually going to link to and read my blog, I should probably post more often.

Its silly and unfair for me to be (slightly) irritated with my favorite bloggers when they don't post for days (or weeks) at a time when I only post once a month (or less).

I am happy that I've found so many cool people through their blogs.

I wish I knew some of them IRL instead of just online. I'm such a weirdo that I have a hard time finding people who share my interests. And that gets a bit lonely sometimes, don't ya know.

False hope

2008-05-09T16:12:00.007-04:00

Dear Person Who Told Me that Raising Twins Would Get Easier After They Turned Two,

You were wrong. 3 a.m feeding were a breeze to handle compared to the tantrums I've been dealing with the last couple of weeks.

Just wanted you to know so you can stop giving people false hope.

kthnx bye.

The day my life changed forever

2008-04-28T16:09:00.012-04:00

Tuesday, May 6, is the third anniversary of the day that changed my life forever. Well, the first of many days that changed my life forever. During the spring of 2005, I was a PhD student about 6 months from finishing my degree, I had been in touch with a couple of potential postdoc advisors, and I was pregnant with my first child. My husband and I decided that the best time to have our first baby was between finishing my degree and starting a postdoc position, and, low and behold, it looked like all of our plans were falling into place. Then I went in for my first ultrasound. At 20 weeks we went in to make sure our baby was healthy and to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. The ultrasound technician rubbed jelly across my belly, rubbed the wand around my bulge to get everything nice a goopy, and then casually uttered those fateful words, “oh look, there are two babies in there.” Yep – we were having twins. Before getting pregnant, I kind of had some, well for lack of a better word, fantasies about combining motherhood with a science career, but all of those imaginings were for only one baby. How would I manage to fit two children into my career? At the same time? I had absolutely no idea. At that point, I kind of just tossed my plans out the window. Whatever would come would come and I would deal with it as it came. I would finish my degree and figure out my life later.

It turns out that it was a good thing I chose a “take it as it comes” approach because my life was about to get even less predictable. Four weeks after learning I was going to have twins, I had symptoms of preeclampsia and two weeks after that my doctor told me to go home and “lie around like a lazy dog” for the rest of my pregnancy. And that is what I did for the next 8 weeks until my twins were delivered six weeks prematurely. After two exhausting weeks in the NICU, Baby Girl 1 was discharged, and our lives seemed to be getting to a place where we could establish a new normal. But a week after that Hurricane Katrina hit. We were actually, very, very lucky that the storm did not hit us directly and that we only lost electricity for four days. But the result is that they needed space in our NICU for all the babies being evacuated from New Orleans, and Baby Girl 2 was discharged, in my opinion, before she was ready and with medical issues that would we would deal with over the next year. Our new normal was now life in a too small apartment with two infants in a city that gained 10,000 extra people overnight. And I was a full time stay at home mom to a medically challenged infant, and I had no idea what was going to happen with my career. Certainly, all hope for finishing my degree and starting a postdoc in the foreseeable future was gone. What would the future hold?

Fast forward three years. My girls are now active almost 3 year olds who have mostly outgrown their medical issues and have “caught-up” with their full term peer. I have finished my PhD and now have a postdoc position at a large university in the lab of a National Academy of Science member. My life and career are back on the previously plotted course. Or are they? One major effect of the events of 2005 is that I am no longer sure of my career goals. There are days that I am not confident that a science career is even right for me any more. Balancing the demands of home and career is more difficult than I ever imagined. My kitchen is never clean and there are toys and dirty clothes everywhere. I’m not confident that I am getting enough done at work? I never know if I am coming or going. Is it worth it? Would my family be better off if I stayed at home, kept the house clean and cooked healthy dinners every night? Would my daughters be better at home with me than at daycare? Then there are other days when I want to be a scientist, but I’m not sure I am in the right field. There are days when my very basic research on insects seems frivolous. Shouldn’t I focus my attention on something that would save lives? Very little is known about what causes preeclampsia, should I leave entomology and study human development? Instead of studying insect development, should I study something more related to human health? I now have friends who have either lost children who were born too early. Other friends now face a lifetime of caring for children with cerebral palsy or other extreme physical challenges. Should I focus my research on preventing and/or treating premature birth? There are people all over the U.S. who lost everything in Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Should I get a job at a non-profit organization and help people who have nothing? Or should I just stay at home with my girls and make sure they have the best start possible. The answer is, I just don’t know. I know that things are really hard right now and I’ve lost a lot of the passion I once had for my job. But that may just be from the exhaustion of trying to keep my career going and keep up with two preschoolers. There is a reason I became a scientist – because I love science. I love doing research. I love studying insects! So for now, I’ll stick with the plan I came up with three years ago. Keep going and everything will sort itself out – I hope. scientiae-carnival

Procrastination

2008-04-04T10:15:00.000-04:00

Lately I’ve had a small problem with procrastination. Well, to be honest, I have a big problem with procrastination, and it’s bringing me down. Checking my email and reading blogs and internet message boards are my big downfall. But a couple of online games and comic strips should also be included on the list of things that prevent me from getting my work done. In effort to combat this lack of productivity, I turned to the internets for tips on curing procrastination (cause using Google to learn about issues in my life is a productive waste of time, don’t ya know), and I found an entry on Wikipedia on procrastination. This is what it says: “Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.” Wow, that really hit home. Especially the part about anxiety. You see, the tasks I’ve been I have been putting off are all work related. Specifically, I need to submit two articles for publication. And I am anxious about putting myself out there. I don’t want my scientific work, that I’ve put heart and soul into for the last many number of years, to be criticized and one way to avoid criticism is to keep it to myself. Of course, if I don’t publish, then my career comes to a screeching halt. And the thought of failing at my chosen profession brings its own anxiety with it. So, I procrastinate. Wiki goes on to say: “For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. While it is normal for individuals to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning.” Yep. Right again. And the cycle goes on and on and on. Anxiety and stress making me unproductive because my lack of productivity makes me anxious and stressed. So, how do I break the cycle? I can’t just turn off my computer because I need it to do my job. Fortunately, Wiki has some information on that too (don’t you just love Wiki? Its a great way to kill a couple of hours and learn something at the same time). Specifically, there is a link to a collection of podcasts on overcoming procrastination, and other links to articles and tutorials on overcoming procrastination and academic success, and even a tutorial to overcome procrastination. Wikipedia even has a Wikibook on Overcoming Procrastination. Wow, I could really spend a lot of time procrastinating while reading/learning about procrastination. However, as helpful as these resources may be, I'm not sure these articles would really get to the proximal cause of my procrastination - the fear associated with being criticized by my peers. I think the only real way to just do it. Screw my courage to the sticking place. Develop a hard outer shell. Take a breath and jump into the volcano. Fortunately, Wiki has suggestions for doing just that.

To do:

2008-04-03T15:15:00.000-04:00

Set up HPLC and figure out how to write time series methods.
Find some postdoctoral fellowships to apply for and, well, apply for them.
Finish manuscript revisions for PhD research.
Write brilliant posts for my blog since there appear to be people who actually read it occasionally.
Play with my kids. They keep asking for a tea party, after all.
Teach A and K that pooping on the potty is better than pooping in their pants.

Lost in Translation

2008-01-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Another mother of twins whose blog I read on a regular basis pointed me to this great site (see the link that now runs across the top of my page) that has all types of fantasitc blogger templates. "Wow, those are cool," I thought to myself, "I need to have a designer template like all the other cool kids." So I went to the site, grabed the code for a template that suits my personality, and edited my blog. I was feeling very pleased with myself when I realized that my blog roll had disappeard in the process. *Cry* Now I need to construct a new blog roll, which is going to take time since I foolishly deleted all the links from my favorites folder (who needs a favorites folder when you have a blog roll handy). Long story short. If anyone is still reading my blog and would like to be linked to it, please comment or send me an email.

Independence vs boundries

2008-01-09T17:01:00.000-05:00

My daughter is very independent. “Do it self” is a phrase we hear a lot at our house. And it is getting to be so extreme that A doesn’t ask us for anything – she just goes and gets it/does it herself. Need a drink of water? Just go get the pitcher off the counter and pour yourself a glass. Want a cup of chocolate pudding out the fridge? Just go get something. Need some pretzels? Just go get the bag off the counter and help yourself. This would all be well and good except that, well, she’s only two years old. And sometimes the attempts to get things for herself don’t always work out. The full pitcher of water – all over the floor. Which is just as well because the glasses she tried to pour water in were dirty (like crusty milk in the bottom dirty). And I’m kind of at a loss as to the correct response to this. At one level, I want to encourage her independence and her “go get it” attitude. On the other hand, I don’t want her to get hurt because she tried to cut something herself. Or get chocolate pudding all over the place, for another. How do I encourage independence while simultaneously setting boundaries. And with out making her spend even more time in the naughty corner? Why does parenting have to be so hard? Does anyone know?

Geaux Tigers

2007-12-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

So the school where I just earned my PhD is playing the school where I am currently employed as a postdoctoral researcher for the national championship game in January. Should I feel conflicted about whom to cheer for? I hope not because I don't. Geaux Tigers!

Even gorillas....

2007-11-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

So we took the girls to the zoo last weekend to see all their favorite animals. We had a great time as usual, but this trip I really enjoyed the gorilla house because there was a really nice docent on duty who was willing to talk about all the gorillas and share about their history. I think the part I liked best was when she pointed to one young female and said "this little girl was delivered by c-section because her mother developed preeclampsia during her pregnancy." Because I also suffered from preeclampia and had to have a c-section, I felt weirdly connected to this gorilla mother. And, somehow knowing that gorillas can develop preeclampsia made me feel better about my own pregnancy. I know intellectually that my own issues weren't my fault, but there is always the voice in my head that says "if you'd only done ____, your pregnancy would have turned out better. Your girls would have been healthier." Knowing that gorillas can also have pregnancy complications reinforced that its just something that happens, something that is part of the reproductive process. Am I totally weird?

To do:

2007-10-10T16:02:00.000-04:00

Finish dissertation corrections, print, and submit to Graduate School
Clean out desk/lab bench/cricket farm
Do laundry
Buy new winter clothes for A and K
Pack
Start new life

What next?

2007-10-05T10:58:00.000-04:00

Well I'm finished with my PhD. After I make a few editorial corrections, convert my Word document to a PDF and submit my dissertation to the Graduate School, I will be finished with school. I am very excited! But at the same time I'm at a bit of a loss. You see, I've been going to school for a very, very long time. With the exception of the year I took off between finishing my B.S. and my M.S., I've been going to school since I was 5. And, no, I'm not going to tell you how long that really is. Just take my word for it - it's been a long time. So tell me, what should I do now that I am no longer a student? Update my blog? Read a good, non-science book? Take a walk? Go to Disneyland? Clean my stuff out of the lab, pack up the house and get ready to move to the location of my postdoc?

Silly Girls

2007-10-01T16:07:00.000-04:00

This past weekend we took the girls to see Mike. Mike is a tiger and the new LSU mascot. And wouldn't you know it, K was afraid of Mike and didn't really want to get any where near him. A loved Mike, but she was afraid of the bronze tiger statue in front of Mike's cage. Go figure.

To do list

2007-08-31T13:26:00.000-04:00

Things to do during the long weekend.

Grocery shopping
Laundry
Finish writing the discussion for manuscript 2/chapter 3 of my dissertation.
Schedule a dissertation defense
Spend some quality time with my family by taking the girls to the park and/or the children's museum
Get the oil changed in the car
Change the air filter
Teach the girls that it is wrong to pee on the floor in their room after their bath. Pee pee should only go in the potty!!!

Which one is older?

2007-08-29T14:38:00.000-04:00

People have a lot of misconceptions about twins. I'm sure that all of my readers with twins can attest to this since they have probably heard their share of weird comments from random people at the grocery store. But I just had to share two of the strangest comments I've gotten, which, incidently, are from people at daycare. When I picked up A and K one day a few months ago, one lady commented about their very blue eyes, then the rest of the conversation went something like this: DCL: I'm surprised their eyes are the same color. Usually one twin has darker eyes and one has lighter eyes. Me: Well, they are identical twins. DCL: Yes that's what I'm talking about. They look the same. Me: (inside my head) Um, ok. Then today when I dropped them off I had this conversation: DCL2: DCL3 and I had a debate about which twin is older. DCL3 said that obviously A is older because she looks older. I said that K is older because the smaller twin has to come out first. Me: Well, A is older by about a minute. Me: (inside my head) Um, ok. What kind of logic is that? I drove away wondering if I should find a daycare center where the teachers know more basic biology.

Lets go canoeing!

2007-08-21T11:47:00.000-04:00

We’ve spent a good bit of time this summer “getting ready for the boat.” No, not another code phrase for “moving to a different city.” We are actually getting the girls ready to ride in a boat, or more precisely, a canoe. The mister and I really got into the paddle sports when we moved to LA; we even bought a nice canoe that was stolen about 2 months after we bought it (but that’s a story for another day). It is awesome to be alone with just the water and the boat – awesome! However, it has been about 3 years since we’ve gotten to go out and paddle because of the girls. My OB told initially told me it would be safe for a pregnant woman to go canoeing as long as she didn’t drown. But this was before we knew were having twins. Before BG2 lodged herself so tightly against my lungs that it was difficult for me to breath (we actually saw her stick her leg under my rib cage during one sonogram). Before it was too uncomfortable to do anything but “lie around like a lazy dog.” Before we had a baby on supplemental oxygen. Before.... But I digress. Now that BG1 and BG2 are 2 years old, they are almost old enough to join us on our aquatic adventures, our canoe therapy. But before we can take them in out in a canoe, we have to get them used to being in water. To do this, we’ve been doing a lot of swimming in the pool at our apartment complex. We started out slowly – 5 to 10 minutes at a time, 2-3 times a week and gradually increased out stays at the pool to 30-45 minutes. At first they were scared and clung to our necks with everything they had – arms, legs, finger nails, and in one case, teeth. But now they are our little turtle and duck (which just happen to be the animals on their swimming suits). They happily swim around the pool in their little blue floaties and even excitedly jump into the water from the side. Now as soon as we can convince them to stay seated in a moving vehicle, the will really be ready for the boat.

Help!

2007-08-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

My brain is broken. It used to work just fine. I was able to think in a semi-linear fashion. I could analyze data and think rational thoughts. I was able to concentrate on the task-at-hand for at least a good 60 minutes or so. Now I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I'll stare blankly at my paper for 5 minutes or so and then I'm off surfing the internet and reading other people's blogs again. It feels like the hamster wheel in my head is spinning out of control. I think this inability to think or concentrate on anything began - oh- about the time I got pregnant with my twins. Am I the only one with this problem? Does anyone have the number of a good brain-repair-man?

"Going to the children's museum"

2007-08-08T22:04:00.000-04:00

If I ever stop procrastinating and finish my PhD, it is likely that we will move to a new city in an entirely different state. We are excited about the prospect of our move, but we are not quite ready for the Mister's place of employment to know that he may be leaving. This means that when we IM each other during the day (this has been our primary means of communication for the last several weeks) we have to talk in code just in case one of his bosses is looking over his shoulder. In case you're wondering, employees at his place of business IM each other all the time, so the simple act of receiving an IM won't get him in trouble at all, just the potential content of said IM. Anyway, between the two of us, we have decided that whenever we want to talk about the new place, we will say something about going to the children's museum. And if you don't know the code, this makes for some pretty strange conversations. "Do you have any idea what the crime rate is at the children's museum?" Do you know if there are any good restaurants at the children's museum?" "When we go to the children's museum, we'll have to see if we can hook up with A Friend." and my favorite "I need to start looking for daycare at the children's museum." But now I must back to my dissertation, or we will never be able to "go to the children's museum."

Happy Birthday Babies!

2007-08-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday you, happy birthday you.... Today at 4:17 and 4:18 pm my twin daughters officially became 2 years old. It's the second anniversary of the day my OB called and said something like "we'd like you to come to the hospital so we can run a few tests. We'll most likely deliver your babies tomorrow." When I got to the hospital the "we'll likely deliver them tomorrow became "we're going to deliver them today." And into the OR I went to have a C-section after 33 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy. As they wheeled me into the delivery room, nurses kept asking if I was ready to be a mother. I didn't quite know how to answer the question because what I wanted to know was "are my daughters ready to be born." The answer turned out to be yes and no. After all there were still 6 weeks to go before my due date. On the other hand, the single placenta the twins shared was tapped out and it was causing problems for all 3 of us. So ready or not, out they came weighing 3 lbs 14 oz and 2 lbs 15 oz. We've come a long way from this:

and this: On one hand, I can't believe that two years have gone by already, but in other ways it feels like it has been at least a century since they were born. Happy birthday small ones. I love you more every day.

Gack

2007-08-02T11:40:00.000-04:00

Gack! Bossman is back from Europe and he wants to have a lab meeting. Gack, I say. Lab meetings are, well, not so fun. I’m sure he’ll have lots to say about his trip and the research he did while he was there and the food he ate and the flights he was stuck on; it will all be very interesting. But, gack, I just don’t really have time for this. I have a ton and a half of things to do. The # of hours I have to write per day is already too low. Now I have to give up 2 of them for a lab meeting? Someone needs to bring food. Maybe I’ll go and get some at lunch. Gack. The worst part is that Bossman will want me to give him an update on what I’ve done while he’s been gone And what have I done other than score a bounty hunter’s helmet and bounty hunters rifle on Kingdom of Loathing. I’ve added a bunch of new friends on Facebook. Made contact with a couple of old friends on myspace. Read the last Harry Potter book. Ordered some new shoes. Scored some other new shoes on eBay. Hmmm. Looks like I’ve actually been rather busy. Research wise I’ve accomplished a few things. I’ve more or less finished all the qPCR (I have a couple more replicates that I really feel like I should try to get done if I can manage to catch the lab gremlin sleeping). I’ve been writing. Ok, not all of it is research related, but some of it is. I’ve written a bit here and a bit there on several sections. I’ve also read, taken notes on, and filed a ton of papers. It’s not like I haven’t made any progress; it just hasn’t been enough progress. If I want to be able to start my new job at the children’s museum in November, I need to be writing a brazilian pages a day. And all I have to say is, Gack!

Danger Will Robinson

2007-07-30T16:29:00.000-04:00

Ugh, I need to get organized. I have no idea where anything is on my desk and it takes me way too much time to find the papers that I need. I should clean it, or at least decorate it with yellow caution tape to warn people that a the slightest wrong move could cause an avalanche. But if I want to finish writing my dissertation some day, cleaning is probably a better way to go. Besides, cleaning is a great way to procrastinate.

To Do

2007-06-04T15:33:00.000-04:00

Today I need to accomplish: Finish my PhD Take care of sick girls Find someone who will let me be a postdoc in her/his lab Pack our stuff into boxes so we can move Do laundry - see part about sick girls Decide whether K is sick enough to take her to the doctor Save the world

Birthday party part 2

2007-05-21T10:46:00.000-04:00

So it turns out that I freaked for no reason (not that I have a history of doing that or anything). The birthday party was fine. My kids were dressed like all the others. And our present was fine too (at least I think it was, we left before it was opened). But the books and small cars were in the same price range as the other presents that were given by non-family members. Its just that reading about the Mommy Wars in Newsweek and seeing articles about picking the perfect caterer for your 2 -year-old's birthday party in American Baby, causes panic. At least it cause me to panic. But now I know. And knowing if half the battle.

Help, we've been invited to a birthday party!

2007-05-18T14:35:00.000-04:00

My twins have been invited to their first birthday party. It's for a little boy they go to daycare with. And since they spend at least 30 hours a week with him, I guess we could call him a friend. "Now what's so bad about a birthday party," you might ask. Well firstly, what should my kids wear? Do I need to put them in dresses or other "party clothes?" I kind of hope not because the party is at a park with a really nice playground, and dresses are, IMO not the thing for playing in the park. I hope I'm right cause I've opted for play clothes. I guess, if I'm wrong.... I did at least bring them clean shirts to put on after daycare. Secondly, what should we take for a present? Should I have the girls take 1 joint present? Or 2 separate ones? I just don't know. And the mom's at Twinstuff weren't much help; most of them said "sometimes we do one and sometimes the other." Gee, thanks. And how much I should spend. One twin mom said that she takes one gift for her 2 girls but spends more money - sometimes as much as $40. Holy Cow. I'm sorry but we just can't go there. And what if my selection is just plain bad? I could be labled the "bad present giver" by all the other parents at daycare. And no one wants that. So you can see there a lot of pressure when it comes to going to a birthday party. I just hope the girls have a good time.

Little pitchers have big ears

2007-05-17T11:13:00.000-04:00

It's time for me to start watching what I say around my kids. How do I know? Well, as many kids do, K and A enjoy playing with the telephone - the real one. Now every parent knows this is not a good thing. So, when I find a child playing with the phone, I typically say something like "A (or K) that's not for you. You don't need to call China." The danger being, of course, that by randomly pushing buttons a kiddo could accidentally place an overseas call to some place like, well, China. To make a long story short, it turns out this was the wrong thing to say. Because now, whenever A sees the telephone she points to it and says "China." Oops! I'm just glad I haven't been calling the phone something else.

Time for more posts?

2007-05-11T10:05:00.000-04:00

OK, if I'm going to do this blog thing, I need to really start doing it. Especially since some one actually has a link to my blog! Exciting, and scary, to think that someone it actually interested in what I have to say! We'll see what happens. Today is the day that I officially start writing my PhD dissertation. I have one chapter finished, but I still have tons to write. A thesis introduction and two more data chapters. Hopefully it will go quickly once I get back into writing grove. And hopefully I won't get do distracted by our impending move. Yes, that's right. With only a couple of months left in my degree program, shortly before we plan to leave this glorious state behind, we have to move. We were notified yesterday that our crappy apartment is now a luxury condo, and we either have to buy it (yeah, right) or move out by the end of June. So what can we do? Anyone know of a nice but cheap place to live in our fair city?

Messy Baby 1.2

2007-05-01T16:38:00.001-04:00

Alison - Winter 2007, originally uploaded by juliereynolds42.

I thought she was finished with breakfast. But apparently she was still hungry because when I went back in the dining room I found this.

Messy Baby 1.0

2007-04-30T14:22:00.001-04:00

messy Kaitlin, originally uploaded by juliereynolds42.

I think she liked the pudding.

Imitation as Flattery

2007-04-26T14:53:00.000-04:00

When I started blogging I told myself that I would not, could not become one of those mommy bloggers (or daddy bloggers for that matter) who only writes about the cute things her children are doing. But my twins are so cute and so funny that I have to indulge myself and post about the girls every once in a while, don’t I? So anyway, at almost 21 months, Ali and Kt have suddenly reached the stage where they want to do things just like Mommy and Daddy. Ali, for example, wants to wear my shoes (and my bra and panties – but that’s another story) and regularly clomps around the house in them. And yesterday morning both girls tried to leave the apartment with an old black diaper bag slung over one shoulder – probably because Daddy and Mommy both leave the house with black computer and book bags. But the time this new found desire to imitate us really rears its ugly head is when we sit down to eat. Last night when we were at the “Burrito-as-big-as-your-femur” joint, Kt insisted on wrapping her bits of quesadilla with foil so her food would be like ours (for the uninitiated, BABAYF wraps its burritos in foil so they don’t fall apart while you’re eating). And that’s not all. Both girls really want to eat sitting in the “big people” chairs at meal time. They cry and fuss and insist they are “ahh-done” eating and demand to get down. Not wanting to be a mother that traumatizes my children by forcing them to eat when they aren’t hungry, I typically let them down after a bit even after they haven’t eaten very much. And what do the do as soon as they get down (and my back is turned)? They climb up in my chair and proceed to eat whatever is in arms reach. Silly girls.

A Dual Life

2007-04-19T16:28:00.000-04:00

The reason that my free-time is so limited is because I have two full time jobs. Yes, that’s right, I am simultaneously trying to finish a PhD in biology and raise 2 toddlers. Toddlers who (I hate to admit) are quickly growing to that stage known as the terrible-twos. Now these two jobs are seemingly (and perhaps actually) incompatible for a number of reasons that I won’t go into at this time. For now it is sufficient to say that both jobs require my full attention, and half my attention is not sufficient to do either job properly. But to simply pick one and discard the other is not even remotely a possibility. For obvious reasons I can’t pick the PhD over the twins. Well, I guess I could. There are people who pick careers over children. But A and K are so fun, and so amazing, and so loveable, that I can’t imagine my life with out them. They brighten my life every single day (yes even the days when they throw up all over me while I’m struggling to get out the door in the morning). Giving up the PhD is equally out of the question. For one thing, I am just too damn close (sorry girls) to finishing to just walk away. I’ve been at this for almost 7 years now (yes, I know I’m about to exceed the time limit) and it would just be too disheartening (to say the least) to quit now. Throwing in the towel would be to give up on me and everything I was before the girls was born. And that just wouldn’t be fair. To me or to the girls. Who would want a mother who resented your birth because she gave up too much of herself? So I will continue to struggle with this dual life to its only possible conclusion. That being said, I need to do some more work until it’s time to get the girls from daycare.

What spare time?

2007-04-17T13:22:00.000-04:00

So I’ve decided to start blogging in my spare time. “What spare time?” you may ask. “The kitchen is a mess, there are mountains of laundry to be done, and the girls have scattered Cheerios everywhere (again). You also have lab work to finish and a PhD dissertation to write. How do you have time to blog?” Well, the truth is I probably don’t have much time for it – hence the oh-so-creative title of my collected ramblings. But all work and no play makes me grouchy. Besides I need to find an outlet for my random thoughts before my head explodes. So join me as I attempt to collect my thoughts in a semi-organized way, get into the writing grove (so I can finish the dissertation mentioned above), and chronicle my attempt to become both a mommy and a scientist. It should be a wild ride.